Mazeltov!

Photo

Mon, 04 Jun 2012 22:42:10 -0400

Photo

Mon, 04 Jun 2012 22:37:00 -0400

Photo

Mon, 04 Jun 2012 15:05:42 -0400

Photo

Mon, 04 Jun 2012 15:03:40 -0400

Photo

Mon, 04 Jun 2012 14:55:23 -0400

Photo

Mon, 04 Jun 2012 14:54:13 -0400

Photo

Mon, 04 Jun 2012 14:53:17 -0400

Party is my middle name(;

Mon, 28 May 2012 20:36:46 -0400

Party is my middle name(;

I want...

Sun, 27 May 2012 22:26:51 -0400

A boy who would hold my hand in line at the mall & make all the other girls jealous. I want someone who would sing to me at random moments. Someone who is more goofy then romantic. A boy who would throw stuffed animals at me when I’m being dumb. Someone who would bet me kisses that he would beat me at all of the old play station games and then let me win. Someone who would make fun of me just to hear my laugh. He’d play with my hair all the time and surprise me with 25 cent rings. Someone who I could share lollipops with and lay on a blanket with while we count the stars. We’d buy tons of disposable cameras and take the silliest pictures of each other & squirt water guns at each other in the house. But mostly…one who would be my best friend and never break my heart. He would always make me smile.

Love Sucks.

Mon, 21 May 2012 21:40:30 -0400

Have you ever fallen for someone so hard, a person that you shouldn’t have fallen for? You felt like they were the right one, they’d sit there and flirt and lead you on for weeks, months, maybe even years. You log on Facebook just to see if they’re online because it’s the only person you wanna talk to. When talking to them they make you feel like the happiest person ever, even though they’re chatting up a dozen others at the same time. And you know all you have to do is move on, but you’ve come all this way you just don’t wanna let go. All you think about is that day, when they’ll realize you’re the one but deep inside you know it’ll most likely never happen. Gotten played so hard, fallen in love when you knew it was wrong from the start. You get jealous of everyone who talks to them too, and everyone is a threat. You hear something you don’t wanna hear about them, and even though all the facts come together and it seems to be so true, you still don’t believe it. Because this person is that important to you. Ha, it’s called being played. It happens. You can’t stop what makes you happy even though it’s also what’s making you hurt.

100 Ways to be Sex.

Sat, 19 May 2012 21:25:59 -0400

100 tips, tricks, and you-know-whatsies, on how to stay sexy.

1. Have confidence.

2. Don’t be afraid to put weird stuff in your mouth.

3. Wear deodorant.

4. Listen to Ricky Martin.

5. General cleanness.

6. Invest in a tongue scraper.

7. Buy candles.

8. Watch the food network in slow motion. You’ll thank me.

9. Don’t eat garlic before potentially kissing someone.

10. Don’t drink for a water bottle with your mouth wrapped fully around the rim.

11. Don’t be a dude with long fingernails.

12. Keep the junk from the underside of your fingernails. Just get it outta there.

13. Have a clean jail record.

14. Have a clean toilet.

15. Have no more then 10 fingers.

16. No sandals with socks.

17. Nipple rings? Come on…is this 1993?

18. Keep the eye crusties out.

19. Try not to smell like a fish.

20. Or soup.

21. Or shit.

22. Or your grandmother.

23. Or salmon. That’s a fish.

24. Or farts.

25. Or vinegar.

26. Or sharks.

27. Keep your palms from smelling. Sometimes people’s palms smell really bad.

28. Own wine glasses.

29. Drink. Anything.

30. Don’t tuck your sweat pants into your socks nor your sweat shirt into your sweat pants. That one’s for you, Dad.

31. Be polite.

32. Get rid of posters. Unless you’re a child. Then that’s okay. And if you’re a child reading this…Stop it.

33. Hey girls, leave the glitter to Mariah Carey.

34. Kiss with your eyes closed.

35. Never stop loving mac & cheese.

36. Own tums.

37. Keep your fondue intake to a minimum.

38. Don’t walk on your tip-toes.

39. Don’t wear Aeropostale sweaters. Unless you’re in high school, then it’s fine. We all go through that phase. It’s just free advertising for them.

40. Don’t make more then 3 seconds of eye contact.

41. Stop sending all of those Facebook invites.

42. Stop poking me.

43. At least pretend to read the Huffington Post. Just keep a tab open on your computer.

44. Enjoy funfetti cake.

45. Indulge in regular bowel movements.

46. Be nice to children.

47. But also don’t be afraid to threaten one and then run up to him and say “you’re dreaming.”

48. Wear clean underwear.

49. It’s okay not to like red wine.

50. Keep your ears clean.

51. Wash down there.

52. Pour wax into your belly button.

53. And then clean it out.

54. Make sure you own nice towels.

55. Buy toilet paper. Self. That’s a personal one.

56. Take a sexy picture of yourself on your iPhone and then delete it immediately because it’s stupid. Who does that?

57. Wear two bras.

58. Try going commando.

59. Then try going AWOL.

60. LARP in moderation.

61. Grind with yourself in a mirror.

62. Wink at the mail man. Make that relationship real weird.

63. Play a healthy amount of Pokemon.

64. Crab walk.

65. Floss.

66. Eat spaghetti one strand at a time.

67. Vlog roll constantally.

68. Eat an egg roll with someone like Lady & the Tramp.

69. Draw eyes on your eyelids.

70. Bloody Mary’s all the time.

71. Blog.

72. Wear heels for a second and then put some fucking slippers on.

73. Fart in a Snuggie.

74. Make out with a stranger and then tell them that it was forgettable.

75. Have safe sext.

76. Dry hump anything.

77. Recycle.

78. Look at old photos of Jane Fonda and then say, “Oh, what a classic beauty.”

79. Spray yourself with every free sample Bath & Body Works offers.

80. Ask the men that come out of sex shops, “What kind of shop is that?”

81. Buy yourself an edible arrangement.

82. Let the auto-corrector on your phone change every word in your sext and then send it.

83. Try mouth wash.

84. Do that thing where you wrap your arms around your body and pretend like you’re making out with someone.

85. Put a sock puppet on your wenis.

86. Try an Altoid up in your ‘gina.

87. Send your boss an email that just says, “I know.”

88. Get health insurance. Another personal.

89. Make yourself a fake OK Cupid profile.

90. Google search old women smoking.

91. Tweet some sexy things to Frankie Muniz.

92. Learn how to say Muniz.

93. But some KY Jelly at your local CBS and just giggle the whole time that you’re buying it.

94. Set up a slip & slide and just douse it in Gin.

95. DVR something.

96. Put some icy hot on your junk and then try to masturbate.

97. Read

98. My.

99. Blog.

100. (:

Sailor Girl by theblondejew featuring toms shoes Abercrombie...

Fri, 18 May 2012 21:25:00 -0400

Sailor Girl by theblondejew featuring toms shoes

Abercrombie Fitch vintage day dress, $55
Toms shoes, £35
Balenciaga crochet shoulder bag, $1,125
Michael Kors pave jewelry, $85
Anchor jewelry, €120
Ray-Ban aviator shades, $139

I HATE SCHOOL. the end.

Mon, 14 May 2012 21:33:21 -0400

I HATE SCHOOL.

the end.

Me not answering the door when someone knocks because I’m lazy My brother knocking &...

Sun, 13 May 2012 22:42:48 -0400

*Me not answering the door when someone knocks because I’m lazy*

My brother knocking & knocking & knocking: “All day. I’ve got all day.”

Me getting up & answering the door: “What?”

My brother: “We just left angry and I want to make sure we were, you know, good and everything.”

Me: “Yeah.” *Slams the door*

My brother: “I don’t feel like we’re good here…”

New forever 21 earrings ♥

Sun, 13 May 2012 20:56:53 -0400

New forever 21 earrings ♥

Photo

Sun, 13 May 2012 19:51:40 -0400

I was wayyy to tired to do anything with my hair, and it’s...

Sun, 13 May 2012 15:58:31 -0400

I was wayyy to tired to do anything with my hair, and it’s too rainy & humid outside to straighten, so ta-da. Messy bun Sunday. :) ♥

Photo

Sat, 12 May 2012 23:46:22 -0400

"Clear eyes. Full hearts. Can’t loose."

Sat, 12 May 2012 23:43:25 -0400

“Clear eyes. Full hearts. Can’t loose.”

- Friday Night Lights

Photo

Sat, 12 May 2012 21:51:25 -0400

Ariana Grande

Britney Spears

Justin Bieber

The Kardashians

Miley Cyrus

Nicki Minaj

Selena Gomez

Mazeltov!

Photo

Photo

Photo

Photo

Photo

Photo

Photo

Party is my middle name(;

I want...

Love Sucks.

100 Ways to be Sex.

Sailor Girl by theblondejew featuring toms shoes Abercrombie...

I HATE SCHOOL. the end.

*Me not answering the door when someone knocks because I’m lazy* My brother knocking &...

New forever 21 earrings ♥

Photo

I was wayyy to tired to do anything with my hair, and it’s...

Photo

"Clear eyes. Full hearts. Can’t loose."

Photo

Me not answering the door when someone knocks because I’m lazy My brother knocking &...